Serendipity '00

Well, it's been a while since I've put anything here, and since it's getting close to the best time of the year (pennant chases, football, and Oktoberfest), I figured I'd try to piece together a story from my freshman year of college. These stories are slightly harder to recollect, because most of the people I hung out with my freshman year left school before the end of first semester my sophomore year.

Serendipty, as explained here, is cool as shit. This being my first year, I wanted to find out exactly what the deal was. I took the first two nights easy, because I was playing baseball (well, I was on the team and I wore a uniform), but Saturday night was circled on my calendar, for the obvious reasons of music and drunkenness. Rain nearly threw a monkey wrench into my plans to get obliterated, as the end of the first game against Randolph-Macon and the entire second game were rained out. They had no contingency plans to stay until Sunday, though, and wound up coming back on Monday to finish up the games.

The rain also put a kibosh on the band, Cowboy Mouth. Guilford had a thing about bringing in shitty one-hit wonders to play Serendipity. The year before I got there, the music was Biz Markie. Granted, I'll bet more of you can sing words to "Just a Friend" than "Jenny Says". And the titles don't count, cheaters. So the music getting rained out was far from a total loss. It just meant more time sitting around drinking before going to the Apartments Party.

As another little aside, my ex-girlfriend had wanted to come over and "hang out" Saturday night. She came by because allegedly one of the guys on Randolph-Macon's baseball team had hooked up with one of her friends, and she used that as an excuse to come by campus. I talked to her after the games were cancelled, and told her that I was swamped with homework, and couldn't party that night. For the record, the first thing that I did when I got back to my room was grab a beer.

Milwaukee's Best Ice is a shitty beer. Jon, one of my friends, had a case of it, and decided that he didn't want it. I mean, it was only $10 a case, but $10 in college is a lot of money. That's like, two hours of work-study. So now, me and my roommate Adam have a gift case of beer to drink before the Apartments Party, instead of having to go raiding under the mattresses for loose change. We decided that the best way to drink the beer is via funnel, since we wouldn't taste it as much. So, after dinner, we go into Jon's room, pop in Billy Madison, and start funneling beer.

Me and Adam go pretty much beer for beer through the case. I think Jon and Dan Freeman each funneled a beer, and Adam passed the last beer to me. At some point, Jon left me and Adam in his room to go check out the party at the Apartments. He came back to tell us that things were going good out there, and that we should head over. We stumbled out of Milner and went to the party.

My friend Aaron was hanging out with a couple senior girls we both knew from orientation. I saunter over to talk to Aaron, and go upstairs to see what the girls have to drink in their apartment, since obviously I didn't drink enough before I went out. I also happened to notice that there was a rather cute looking girl hanging out with the senior girls (for the life of me, I can't remember their names). At some point, it comes out that the girl is the younger sister of one of the girls I knew. I decide that I am going to mack on this chick.

Just for reference, most of the people at the party were upperclassmen, who hadn't had to play in (or dress and sit in the bullpen for) a varsity collegiate sport that afternoon, so they had been through Serendipity before, and started drinking at around noon. I showed up to the party at around 11, and was quickly singled out as Drunk Guy. Yup, one of those nights. But I digress.

At any rate, me and this girl hit it off pretty good. Younger sister wss college age, so I figured that everything should be on the level. Me and her danced some, and hit on each other. At some point, I puked a little on myself. I tried to pass that off on my friend Jon, who held his liquor worse than I did. I don't know if anyone bought it. I really don't think they did.

So, at some indeterminate point later in the night, a bunch of my friends decided that they were leaving the party. I remember telling Aaron that I wasn't leaving, because I was going to hook up with the younger sister (don't hold me to this, but I think her name was Claire; at least, that name sticks out for some reason). Given my rather inebriated (shitfaced, if you will) state, Aaron was rightfully skeptical. I think he bet me $5 that it wouldn't happen. I accepted the bet, and stayed at the party.

So, probably a bunch of other stuff happened. At this point, it's really anyone's guess. My next "clear" memory is lying down on the couch in Older Sister (Heather?)'s apartment, and Older Sister coming up to me and saying that I could sleep on the couch if I had to, and inviting me to puke off the balcony if the need arose. I figured that if it looks like I'm cashed, I'm not going to get any action, so I decided to sit up. Fortuitous timing, it turned out, because Younger Sister came into the living room, and sat down beside me on the couch.

We soon start hooking up. And really going at it. I mean, full-on groping. Have you ever been to a party, and seen two people all but undressing each other on the couch? That was us. After I almost had my hand up the inside of Younger Sister's shirt, Older Sister comes by with her roommates, and says, "OK! We're going for a walk now." We wish them a great time, to which she replies, "No, we're going for a walk now", and indicated that me and Younger Sister were included in that "we". I tried to pull the "let's sneak back to my room" card, to which Younger Sister said that she had to sleep at the apartment. Me, being the gentleman that I am, offered to walk her back. She didn't buy. I figured that I had probably worn out my welcome with Older Sister, and decided to call it a night.

So, let's recap: I lied to the face of my ex-girlfriend, funneled about 12 beers, puked on myself, and still managed to hook up with a girl.

Aaron still owes me $5.