Labor Day Weekend '07

So, I went down to North Carolina over Labor Day weekend, because there's not much else that's more fun than getting ripped with friends when no one has to work. Plus, it's a great weekend for boozing. College football is on, Octoberfest beer is available, and so on.

So I fly in to town on Friday afternoon. Kurt picks me up at the gigantic Piedmont Triad International airport, and we head out for dinner, then head to Carrboro to catch the Strugglers playing at Cat's Cradle. I met Kurt's girl du jour, Heather, who apparently thought I was a riot, which is a good thing. Normally when I'm in "drinking all weekend" mode, I'm offensive, and it upsets the easily offended. So, either I was tame, or Heather has a sense of humor. I'll need further research to determine which is the case.

After the show (which the Strugglers rocked), Kurt and I drove back to Greensboro to meet up at Jen and Andrew's (pretty much our base of operations for the weekend) to party. They were rocking some beer pong, and had some people over, so we jumped right in. Our friend Aaron (who is probably the funniest, foulest, coolest sketchy guy I know) stopped by after he got done work. I think he was there for about 30 minutes before he called his sort-of ex to come over. No sooner does she make it to the party than Aaron is getting into his car and telling her to follow him back to his house. Either he was really hard-up or he didn't want any of us to see this chick. Actually, if I remember correctly, Aaron didn't like somebody hanging out at the house, and used the girl as a reason to bail.

We finished our Friday night at some sort of private club bar thing that apparently they have a bunch of in Greensboro. Not like you have to be a member to get in, everybody who isn't a member just signs the "guest list" and goes in and drinks.

Saturday morning, Kurt and I run over to a diner for breakfast. Jen and Andrew want to grill out and watch football all day Saturday, which is my kind of Saturday. Kurt and I pick up burgers and chicken sausage (yes, Kurt is a pussy), as well as a bunch of beer, and head over to their place. They are still out shopping, which isn't a problem for us, because Kurt has a key. We make ourselves at home on the couch, and start on the beer. 2pm beers are wonderful.

After food (and a lot of beer), it's time to get the drinking into gear. We start beer pong back up, which will pretty much take up our night from about 7 until 11. At this point, Kurt leaves the party to go home with Tara. For some reason, me and Aaron take offense to this. I blame alcohol. At any rate, we decide that since Kurt left his car at Jen's house, the logical thing to do is fuck with his car. We took the air out of all four of his tires, Aaron stole Kurt's wiper blades and put them in his own car, and we pissed on his car. Juvenile? Absolutely. Funny? Depends on your point of view (me and Aaron were laughing hysterically). Oh, for the record, I would like to point out that one of the options (voiced by Aaron, voted down by me) was to take Kurt's antenna and use it to smash his windows. Fortunately, we decided that full-on vandalism was not a good idea.

After sabotaging Kurt's wheels, we all go out to the same bar we went to before. Jen brings strawberry daquiri mix (or something like that) that was frozen in her freezer in a red Solo cup. She was letting it melt in the car, then drinking it. We get to the bar, and Jen still has some frozen daquiri in her cup. She leaves the cup outside, and we head in to the bar. The bar sucks. We have a round of drinks, and decide it's time to take the party elsewhere. We walk back out, to find Jen's cup untouched (we think). Jen knocks back the contents, which fortunately weren't altered with anything else in our absence.

The next bar we go to is a lot better. We run into some other Guilford grads, and pretty much wind up closing the bar down with those guys. Lots of alcohol and stories swapped around the table. We get home, and I am stuck sleeping at Jen's, since Aaron is too drunk to drive, and Kurt isn't there to take me to his place (not like we would have gotten far riding on rims anyway). I spend a rather miserable, mostly sleepless, night on the couch. I am allergic as hell to cats, plus I have sleep apnea. I literally couldn't breathe. At one point during the night, Jen came stumbling downstairs to get water. She has no recollection of any of this happening. Apparently she gets the drunken somnambulatory stuff a lot, as Andrew would tell me later (supposedly he found her butt naked outside their place one morning). Anyway, after getting something to drink, she decides that she would rather sleep at the foot of the couch than in her bed. She wound up going back up to her own bed about half an hour later.

So, Sunday morning dawns to Kurt coming back and punching Aaron awake, because he figured we were the ones who fucked with his car. Thankfully, Andrew had a cigarette-lighter-adapter powered car tire inflater, so we could pump Kurt's tires most of the way up. Aaron gave Kurt back his wiper blades. I even magnanimously paid for a car wash, so Kurt's car wouldn't reek of urine (I'm not all bad).

Jen and Andrew beg out of drinking a third straight day (what do they teach these kids in college anymore?). Me, Kurt, and Aaron are gung-ho for it. We finish off whatever was left of the Sam Adams we had at Jen and Andrew's, and then head to a brew pub for dinner and then on to one of their favorite bars for drinking. Turns out the place we went to was having some sort of special on Yuengling pitchers, which got Kurt to change his mind. He was approaching the night as a take-it-easy night, Aaron and I were all about getting plowed. Kurt had one beer, and decided to join us on our foray into drunkenness.

It should be noted that we were there pretty early, and drank for quite a while. I would guess we got there at 9. We wound up closing the place down. During the course of the night, I learn about chugging in someone's face. Apparently Aaron enjoys grabbing someone by their shirt, pulling them in front of him, and then slamming his beer back in that person's face. I thought it would get old, but it turned into one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. Oddly enough, it was also karaoke night at this bar, and we didn't leave. Normally, I'm not a big karaoke person. That night, I actually went up and sang. Had a good time, too. I guess karaoke isn't bad when the people singing don't suck.

So anyway, we're at this bar, which is pretty hopping, since most people don't work on Labor Day. There are some pretty girls floating around, which we notice. Aaron at some point decided he was going home with a girl. Normally, I wouldn't be opposed to this. However, rather than actually work to talk to one of the cute girls there, Aaron starts macking on the girl sitting at the table next to us. Normally, I'd applaud him for saving the effort of getting up, but this girl was just ugly. I mean, she didn't have anything going for her. She was ugly. Really ugly. I know I sound terribly superficial, but it's the truth. Most people, I can find something attractive about. This girl had nothing going for her. Aaron decided that he was going home with this girl, for whatever reason. Me and Kurt do our best to talk him out of it. I send him all kinds of text messages ("way to mack on the ugliest chick at the bar", "I wouldn't touch her with your dick", and the like) to that effect, but to no avail. Aaron is determined to go home with her. He even asks me at one point to find out if that girl would fuck him. I refused to do it, on the grounds that I refuse to help friends sink to that level.

So Aaron goes home with this girl. And catches all kinds of shit from me and Kurt at Kurt's place on Monday morning. Aaron had to come back to Kurt's to get his car, so it sucked for him to have to face us, but at least the girl has no clue where Aaron actually lived, or what kind of car he drove. He says he didn't sleep with her, but Kurt also said that he didn't sleep with Tara on Saturday night, and none of us believed that for a second.